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Well, it has been about a month since i went for the big day out to the art gallery etc, and i have been feeling pretty jaded since. I keep waiting to pick up again, but think the big day out (technically speaking – half day!) so soon after the virus (which had not completely gone) was maybe an error, not that i would do it differently if i had the chance again. I have just not regained my previous energy levels. Last week i had to cancel my hair cut and although i made it this week (after resting as much as possible all week) it was a real struggle to be up and functional for the 3.30pm appointment. I really wanted to get out of the house, but was not really well enough. I have felt worse at such occasions but it felt like an endurance test to sit there and listen to the chit chat for an hour. I was so pleased not to be home alone when i got back as i felt pretty dodgy… my IBS has also been flaring up despite my diet being plain and predictable – i suppose just not being so well means it plays up, but that makes me feel worse too.

A friend of mine had invited me to join her in Scarborough this coming weekend. For the last couple of weeks i have been feeling far too ill to go but really trying hard to recoup some energy in the hope that i could miraculously pull myself together in time. Yesterday’s hair cut experience has made me decide not to go. Although it is certainly what i need mentally/emotionally, my body is just not up to it. It is so hard to accept that after having such a successful trip last time. Just sometimes it would be nice to have a fixed condition and be able to say “yes i can do X”  or “No i can’t do X”: to be able to plan ahead and know the score…

Also my nose is running today after a few sneezy days and i am concerned that i am getting another cold! I am doing my nasal washing fastidiously in the hope that no germs will colonise… i don’t think i have recovered from the last one yet 😦

On the up side, being at home this weekend means i may be able to see a friend who i don’t get to see enough, she has invited me over for risotto, so i hope i will be up to it! I will be home alone Thursday – Tuesday, so will be using my energy on essential tasks again, so a fun but relaxed evening with good company will be good to break up the time.

I did get two presents in the post this week, which was really lovely and a big surprise! Sometimes things happen just when you need them and sometimes they don’t – i am grateful for the things that do…

The friend who was going to Scarborough decided not to go this weekend if i am not, so maybe we can rearrange it if i perk up again… finger’s crossed eh?

ME/CFS Awareness

ME/CFS Awareness


December 2020