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I had a fantastic afternoon out with my partner and the dog – we all love the beach – and for once I got to walk around on it WITH THEM!
Usually I walk a short distance from the car to the dunes, sit there while they walk along and then they come back for me. Occasionally I will walk directly to the water’s edge and back if the tide is not too far out to get close to the waves…
This time my partner suggested that she drive us to a different place that she discovered recently, about twice the usual drive. So I lay in bed all morning and waited to see if it felt possible. At 2pm I got up and felt I could give it a go. I have not been good in cars and have only once in the last year (again, quite recently) been in the car for more than 20 minutes each way, but this time it was 40 minutes and (on the way there at least) I felt so relaxed and untroubled by the usual neurological issues that make it so stressful that I almost forgot I was in the car at all! The way home was slightly worse, but still bearable despite going at 70mph or over which usually does my head in and makes me feel awful.
So, a good start. Add to that the beautiful warm day, a light breeze and a slight haze that took the burn out of the sun but left it pleasantly warm even on the coast which was quiet and still. Add to that beautiful rock pools to explore and a marked lack of POTS symptoms. Add to that my new spectacles which we picked up on the way which made me feel a little more unsteady due to the slight prescription change, but feeling stylish all the same. Add to that the pub overlooking the beach for refreshment and conveniences at the end, watching swallows fly right in front of us with forked tails and brown bellies flashing.
I honestly feel like I have been on holiday for a week, not for just a few hours. Holiday from illness and from the norm. Spending such nice time together as a “family” (inverted commas there not for Section 28 style pretend family; but for “family” of two women and their dog!). Holiday from the mundane and predictable. Holiday that brings hope of some change in the air. A realisation that try as I might to make the best of my limited life and value what it gives me; I have not felt that ALIVE for some time.
I am enjoying this recent trend of being able to get out of the house more. It feels so alien to me and so surprising; yet at the same time I can feel that I am getting used to it already, which is worrying. I am trying to take each opportunity as it comes and to enjoy this time. For now it is so joyful to be able to do some new things. The future is unknown (for us all!).
I had doubted myself sometimes over the last year in particular when life was so hard with little let-up. I thought: “Am I really worse than a year or two ago that I can barely go out at all, or am I not going out of fear or anxiety?”. I find it so hard to judge whether I am “better” or “worse” as main symptoms change and evolve which I partly why I write this blog: to help me look back, to remind me of what was possible at different times etc. I can now see that as soon as I truly feel able I jump at any chance I get. I should not doubt myself. It is hard to judge when to try something and when to rest, but I have been doing it for a long time now, and usually I DO know what is best even if I cannot explain the subtle difference in sensations in my body to anyone else. I do know that now I need to rest, happy that it is because I had a great time out and about.
Well, what news?
Since i last blogged i had a few days of feeling a bit better. It was nice. I didn’t do much or go anywhere (i didn’t feel THAT good!) but just stayed at home and enjoyed choosing when to have my daytime nap (rather than collapsing in a heap an hour or two after getting up) and feeling more alert. Maybe i was sleeping better at night as i seemed to get away with less sleep in the daytime. I even managed a bit of arty activity on a couple of afternoons. All nice. Had a couple over for a meal the weekend before last. I rested all day and felt good and even a little sparkly. Managed to see the evening to it’s end and did not even seem to have major payback, just a bit of extra sleep.
It did not, of course, last long. By Wednesday (the dinner party was Saturday) i felt really awful again. In fact i have spent several evenings in bed and had trouble eating/digesting my evening meal. I usually feel pretty good by some point in the evening so this was disappointing and frankly boring as i already spend a part of the daytime in bed to prepare me for the evening and spending time with my partner. Despite this i went to my friend’s house on Friday evening as i really wanted to see her. I did feel it was a bit risky but as all i had to do was be driven there and back and lie on her sofa for a couple of hours i felt is was not asking too much (i rested all day)… but it was too much (though nice to see her) and i have not had a good weekend this weekend. Just sitting on a chair which is not my “one and only comfy chair” and being slightly twisted in order to speak to my friend was enough to create such a lot of pain which i did not feel after the dinner party despite talking for longer. My chair is magic. And my muscles are rubbish!
I did eat some biscuits that the couple who came over for a meal made. They had gluten-free flour in, which contains potato flour, which i know upsets me and though it was a delayed reaction and there were no major tummy upsets i ate them over about 3 days and things have just been feeling not right since. More pain and feeling strange – nothing i can explain very easily. In a way it is encouraging as if i had only eaten a couple i would have probably been fine… but who can leave them sitting there? Not me. I have not had much in the way of cake/biscuits for a long time and they were like chocolate brownies… yum! I have bought some rice flour and buckwheat flour this week to try to find some kind of pancake/biscuit/bread/stodge-type thing i can tolerate. Woman cannot live on rice cakes alone… it’s winter and the hot cross buns will be taunting me soon – must find a substitute! Pancake day was hard enough.
Other news (i can’t remember when) – i went to the doctor to get a letter and a sick note and it was not the usual person i see, though i have seen him in the past. He was really nice, did not rush me and gave me a sick note for 6 months instead of the usual 3 months and said things should be done as telephone appointments when possible. I LIKE him! Common sense at last.
Also i am in the process of maybe getting a wheelchair. I have been referred to the NHS service (though maybe a long wait) and also i am going to a local charity to discuss my needs/issues and they will assess what type is most suitable for me. I think that is useful before i go to see the NHS people so i know what i need and don’t get pushed into something. As i understand it once the NHS assess me and “prescribe” me a wheelchair (if they think i qualify for one) i can get a voucher of the equivalent cost of that wheelchair to put towards a better one, if i do not think the NHS one is the most suitable. It seems a little complicated and involves yet more appointments, but what doesn’t? I will blog about this separately i think, once i know more… actually i have had a blog post half written for about a year about why i DON’T use a wheelchair much, maybe i should look back at that for issues to raise when assessed – see if they have any solutions for me!
I had to cancel a hair appointment today. I felt great relief to not have to go and have not had a bad day as a result. I knew that if i pushed myself to go this week would be like the last and i cannot face that. I have arranged for a mobile hairdresser to come next week instead. I really hope he is good and doesn’t talk my head off and that it feels an easier experience than going to the salon. Hair cuts are one of the most draining appointments to handle: smells, listening and talking on top of background music and other noise (like hair dryers and children) makes my brain seize up, the crazy neck-breaking sinks that leave me with a headache and neck pain for days, travelling there and back, unsupportive chairs… You get the idea: It’s a nightmare. After talking about this on facebook it seems i am not the only one who finds this to me a really hard thing to do!
Also, i am writing an itch diary and doing things out of my usual routine to test my itchy problems. This is because i have a dermatology appointment in a couple of months and i want to take as much info/evidence as i can. I do not want to be dismissed in the first five minutes! So far i have not itched so very much so the diary is not very exciting. It was really bad the week before i started the diary! Sure it will flare up again.
Good news is that the sun came out today and shone all day – i had the windows open and it felt like Spring might be on it’s way. Of course there is more sleet/snow forecast for later in the week but it was a nice break. The birds were singing.
Yeah! At last i went out in the snow! My partner shovelled the snow away so we could get the car out and drove me up the road to the woods. The snow was crunchy and quite deep but not too hard to walk in, the sun was out and I felt well enough to wander about for quite a while. I sat on a bench a while and the snow beneath me did not even melt! It was pretty cold but the sun made it feel not too bracing. It was such a relief to get out of the house and to be able to seize the moment when there was sun and fresh snow. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
I took some photos on my phone, some of which i will post here. I took others on film so i have not got them yet.
(I don’t care how bad i feel as a consequence, it was worth it.)
I have started taking two new vitamins.
(I am no expert on these matters and am just trying to work out what is best to take with the information i can gather, at my own risk, so please do your own research/consult your doctor rather than copying what i am doing!)
I have got some sublingual B12 powder (you put under the tongue) which is meant to be better absorbed than tablets. My multivitamin has some B12 in it already but i am sure i would be deficient if i did not take it as my diet does not include any natural sources as far as i can tell (mushrooms and cheese have a bit?). I know of various pwME who take it and some who get regular injections of it which is meant to be even better than taking it orally. I think there have been studies that it can help with some symptoms of ME but i have not the energy to look that up right now, sorry for shabby posting without proper research evidence! Energy is low at the moment so if anyone has any handy info/links on this to hand, please do comment below!
I am also taking Vitamin D (in the form of D3). This is a bit more risky as it is a fat soluble vitamin. In theory you could take too much as the body may not get rid of any excess – it cannot just be processed and passed out in urine like, for example, any vitamin C that is not absorbed. I am only taking the RDA and seeing as i generally do not go outside or rarely even see the day through the window these days, i think that should be ok. (I read if you are getting vitamin D through sun exposure the body knows when it has made/stored enough so you don’t overdose, just in case you were worried!). There seems to be growing evidence that many of us are vitamin D deficient (i mean the population in general, not just pwME; particularly in northern climates where sun exposure is limited and people are very sun-cautious/covered up even when they are out in it) and that it can play a role in many illnesses (MS, cancers…). My osteopath said that he thought i should consider it and that a doctor friend of his had talked to him about it and suggested that the risk of cancer through sun exposure (not burning, just being exposed little and often) was much less than through vitamin D deficiency and that people needed to change their focus and attitudes to the sun. He also said that there seemed to be emerging evidence of deficiency having a role in many illnesses.
here is one article about it: http://www.fiikus.net/?vitamind
here is a long factsheet that is a bit scientifically written but that highlights some useful things: http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/vitamind.asp. It mentions bone health for people who are inactive, the likely need for supplementation in people who are housebound and who are vegetarian (er, me on all 3 counts!), issues of toxicity and other possible health benefits and illnesses that can be affected by a lack of vitamin D. My grandmother has had osteoporosis since she was relatively young so i am also aware it may be something i am prone to, though i do not know if it runs strongly in families or not. Apparently when you don’t jump up and down much or walk strongly about, that lack of impact on the bones can lead to them being thinner. That jarring action leads them to build themselves up and be stronger for that kind of action in the future. As i creep/shuffle about gently in general i think i am not getting that impact.
I will take it all winter and maybe not so much in the summer if i can sit outside more regularly as i tried to do this year. I read somewhere (sorry, again i know not where – must try to be more organised!) that just ten – twenty minutes sitting outside in gentle sunshine with some skin exposed (face and arms or legs) is enough for your daily dose, which sounds easy, but in this country (the UK) the days when this is possible even during summer not as frequent as you would think. I tried to seize the moment as much as possible this summer and did grab some rays even when the day was generally cloudy due to my flexibility of being at home all day, but still did not manage more than one in three days during the height of summer. For people who work it is even harder i should think! Also if you have darker skin the production of vitamin D is slower than for paler skins, so dark-skinned people living in the northern hemisphere are even more likely to be deficient.
Obviously the best thing regarding all supplements would be to have thorough blood tests done to see which ones i really am deficient in, but as this seems to be unavailable on the NHS for most vitamins/minerals, we are left guessing. As my diet has been more restricted this year and my digestion has also not been functioning well before this due to very bad IBS symptoms i think i do need to take supplements. If i have no major deficiencies it is one less thing preventing my body from working as well as it could…
Many apologies for bad blogging – for not backing up my assertions with lots of links to research – i just wanted to get some blogging done but am not up to being on the computer long enough to do a proper job…
This may seem like a silly question, of course i am very happy and excited to be having some much better days, but i do have mixed feelings…
I also know that i am getting very ahead of myself in writing this at all as it is only a week or so that i have had this real buzz, and hardly all day everyday… it could be just a post-holiday buzz? It does come on the back of gradual improvements over the last few weeks/months and my change to a higher dose of Midodrine a couple of weeks ago though, so maybe it may be here to stay???
Firstly let me explain. I went to Scarborough for my holiday, i got back on Sunday (a week ago). I rested for three days and did not feel too great initially, but by Thursday i felt up to going to see a friend and her baby. I went by taxi both ways as it would be a bus and then a bit of a walk otherwise, and i wanted to save energy for the visit and not overdo it so soon after the holiday. I was there about two and a half hours, mostly lying on her sofa but chatting and playing/interacting with her son. I also had my favourite taxi driver both ways and we did a lot of talking on the journeys, so it was quite an extended time of activity. I had a great time, and although i was exhausted afterwards i only had one rest day, then went out again yesterday!
So yesterday i went with my partner to the garden centre. They have a wheelchair available and we have used it before, but as i only wanted to look at plants and felt pretty good, we did not bother. I sat down a couple of times but felt fine, and we were there quite a while in the end. I was desperate for the toilet by the end and they didn’t seem to have one, so we stopped by a pub along the road and sat outside for a quick cuppa and to use the facilities. Then we went to Tesco and i went into the health food shop which is near the entrance and got a few things, then we went home. All in all this was a lot of walking about and i had felt good and really enjoyed it. We got some beautiful plants to cheer up the backyard, a couple for the front garden and two freebies as well!
When we got home i felt a bit less ok, so lunch was made for me and i had a lie down. However i could not sleep as too excited and after a doze i got up again and we did some potting up type activity (i was mostly instructing but still active). Then in the evening we sat outside and had a BBQ in the yard, admiring the new plants in the sunshine.
We stayed out until 8pm playing cards and chatting and it was really good. I was amazed at my stamina as it had been a long day but i was buzzing with happiness and excitement about feeling so good, just as i was on my last day in Scarborough. The Red Arrows flew by and did an amazing stunt right where we could see it, a tight and high loop in the sky, in formation, with them all plummeting earthwards together, then fanning and levelling out at the last minute – leaving a big smokey loop in the sky… it was very dramatic and we were so pleased to have seen it as it was over in a flash.
I was tired by the time we went inside but very happy. One possible warning sign of overdoing it is that i have had a lot more of a symptom i have had on and off before, which i know a lot of people with ME do get. It is like a shiver or a twitch when you are not cold. It is quite a big shiver and i have been getting it in the muscles of my shoulders and my whole upper body shakes spontaneously, particularly in the evenings when i am tired. On the up side, my muscular pain and tension has been a lot better in that area this week (since my holiday massage and such) and the shiver is painless and feels a bit like a releasing of tension, so i am not too bothered. Heat seems to help relieve it. I think it is a neurological/nerve type symptom. Maybe it is like mini electric shocks, as it does feel a bit like a TENS machine induced spasm, caused by or linked to my new extra excitable brain activity!?! I met a woman who had it very badly at a support group for ME and she would involuntarily suck in her breath when she had the shiver and it made a lot of noise due to that and was quite distracting during conversation… another unexplained ME oddity!
So it’s all good. Today i have slept more than usual and only done a bit of emailing and writing this, but have not felt too bad. These things, if i managed them at all (and certainly not in such quick succession) would take days or weeks to recover from a few months ago.
So why am i feeling a bit strange about all this? I really don’t know how to explain it…
Firstly i have a feeling that i am somehow cheating someone or something, that this is not my reality, my life, my lot. This feeling is quite worrying, but it is no wonder i just expect to feel awful all the time, i suppose, based on the last few years. It is a survival strategy not to expect anything to change. I think also i have to spend so much time explaining what i can’t do for benefits reasons and to people who share my life or new people i meet, that when things change it is as if i have been lying… hmm that sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? Change is always an adjustment…
Maybe i feel bad because i am getting Midodrine for my POTS (the very likely main reason for me feeling better) which is unavailable to everyone else and i know they may read this and it is always hard to read that other people are improving when you are not, usually i am the one who is not, but when will their turn come?
Also, I think it just feels a bit surreal to me, very unreal, and perhaps i cannot trust it to last or continue to improve… maybe i am coming around to that dangerous concept of Hope again! I cannot help but let my mind get carried away with itself; from dreaming of day trips and socialising, to doing courses, travelling places… and all the things that may become possible if things improve even more! (hmm better stop that!) I am already almost expecting August to be great… very dangerous territory…
It is mostly the euphoria i am feeling that feels strange. I am getting very high and excited (is better circulation to my brain allowing such feelings?) about quite simple things… most people do not get overly excited and “high” about a short wander to the beach, or a trip to the garden centre on a sunny day, do they? I wonder if it is just because it is so amazing to be able to go and even more amazing/unusual to feel good while doing these things, rather than just surviving them? If so, will the excitement fade if it becomes more everyday and normal to feel this good? (I hope not.) I am not getting any low mood as a come down, but i almost feel like i am on drugs at these times! Is it just my brain chemicals playing up? Was i depressed before but did not know it?
Anyway, I am trying to just take each day at a time, not to overdo it and rest up in between things. Importantly i must remember how bad i still feel regularly, how my life is set up based on me being barely able to look after myself/do much and if i reintroduced all the self care and household tasks that i do not do, i would not feel so positive; that what i am able to do is a big improvement for me but still very low level for most and I should not get carried away on the very odd but FUN tide of euphoria and just see what happens…
(but who can blame me?!!)
Please understand the difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. I may be tired. I may be in pain. I may be sicker than ever. Please, don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!”. I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.
This really made me smile and pins down something i have been bothered about in the back of my mind for some time: Why does it annoy me so much when people say “You are looking well”, or “You sound good” or whatever. I always feel a bit guilty about feeling so prickled by it, when they simply want me to be feeling well and to be improving with all their hearts and are just expressing it… but it feels like it is just a conversation to make them feel better about it; to let them off the hook; to avoid facing the truths about my illness. When i try to explain that they have simply caught me at a good moment and that in general nothing has changed, i get this look, as if to say “Why are you denying improvement? Don’t you want to get well? Be grateful for what good times you have!”
(I must say i am more tolerant of this when it comes from people very close to me who do know largely what my life is like or who see/speak to me regularly, as maybe i do sound a bit better than the last time, but i am safe in the knowledge that they know this does not mean anything more than that, that right now i can speak, but afterwards i will be exhausted and i may not be able to…)
I may look well because i have spent all the day up to this point (and probably yesterday too) making an effort to be clean, have had my hair washed, to have sloughed all the unsightly dry flaky skin off my face and moisturised, to have got out my nice clothes, rested effectively and eaten sensibly and taken a sleeping tablet, a painkiller and all the other things that i need in order to ensure i can function for this occasion of seeing you. I may even feel quite good after all this planning and preparation and be enjoying myself in this rare foray into your world, but like Cinderella, the mirage will soon fade, and i will feel so ill and have so many extra symptoms over the next few days in “payback” that i really cannot just forget this and enjoy “looking so well”. It is not your fault, of course, but how i look at the moment is irrelevant to the bigger picture. “Looking well” can sometimes feel like a curse and a barrier to understanding.
The other common exclamation is “Isn’t it lovely weather, that must really help you!” It helps me in the same way it helps anyone else, and yes, it is nice now that spring has come that i can sit in the back yard and get some fresh air and sunshine (occasionally) and have a change of the usual four walls to some al fresco four walls with birdsong and the like, but it is said to me as if it will actually make me well… My illness is not caused by depression, i actually don’t think it is perpetuated by depression (it just makes it harder to live with). To suggest that all i need is some sunshine for my severe and chronic health condition to improve is really irritating, and again i feel so guilty for being grumpy about it and usually just say, “oh yes it is nice to have nice weather” (and think “but i feel as ill as ever)”.
So now you are reading this and thinking “well i didn’t mean anything by it, what the hell am i supposed to say then? Nothing?” No of course not, but please, just ASK how i am. If you must, you can ask if the sunshine helps me(but don’t expect a sunny answer to that one – my patience is wearing thinner and thinner on this issue).
When you do ask me how i am, of course, that opens up a whole new set of issues: Do you really what to know how i am? Do you want details? Do you want to understand what my life is actually like? Or do you want a “Fine thanks” or a “Not bad today” with no details? It is hard for me to know. Even if i know you really do care and want to engage with it, how can i explain how i am? How can i quantify my wellness or illness in a way you can understand? Sometimes i can say i am “better” but do you know what that means? Do you think i am on the way to getting properly better? Or do you know i mean a-tiny-bit-that-only-a-chronically-ill-person-would-notice-as-an-improvement-and-it-could-all-change-in-the-next-five-minutes-better?
I find when asked “how are you?” these days, i just say “i am ok right now thanks” or something along those lines, because, of course i have been better, and i have inevitably been a lot worse (well i am having a conversation, so evidently not SO bad) so everything else is just in between these two… how i am changes minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day but also not a lot really changes.
So i appreciate you asking, and that you do care, but know that these questions are so loaded for me, and there is a lot more going on behind my reply…
Well, i have been really enjoying the sunshine recently! I am currently sitting on the doorstep with my jeans rolled up, my forearms out and my face and neck exposed also. I have decided to make sure that if it is a sunny day i will make sure that i sit outside in it for ten-fifteen minutes at least, in order to get my vitamin D for the day. I had a quick surf on the net and it seems this is all that is required.
I have not read into it fully but i am aware that there is research on ME and Vitamin D deficiency going on, so i think i may as well do what i can, just in case it helps! Also there is osteoporosis in my family, and i am a vegetarian so i may not get as much in my diet as other people, although i read that it is hard to get enough just through diet alone anyway.
Of course, i hope to sit out in the sun for longer than this over the summer but i may well cover up and wear suncream for any length of time much over this amount, especially in the height of summer, as i don’t think getting sunburn is fun or a good idea! It is good to know that something so simple can allow me to get enough vitamin D (assuming people with ME can make it the same as others do…). Knowing the climate i may have to seize the moment some days as you never know when the sun will go in in this country!!
Yesterday i definately got my quota, as after over two weeks of living in a cold virus ridden household (first my partner, then me) we both felt better and went out for easter sunday! It was warm and there was not a cloud in the sky. First we went for some lunch in town, but it felt so wrong to be inside, so we relocated to park, then a nearby pub garden and sat in the sun playing cards for a couple of hours! My back got quite sore from strange and unsupportive seating (despite having my cushion with me!) and i was exhausted when we got home but seem to have come off relatively unscathed after sleeping almost continuously until 1.30pm today! It was so nice to spend time together relaxing and to be out of the house and feeling good after some very tough weeks (before we got ill was very busy and i was not feeling well at all).
Hurray for the sunshine! AND after my mum came to visit and did lots of work in my garden (thanks mum!), and i planted some seeds, some are coming up today! I think it is the miniature marigolds… ahhh! Let’s hope the slugs and snails don’t fancy a snack before they get a chance of life. Fingers crossed for the californian poppies as well, then my garden will be a sea of orange flowers this summer 🙂
what is this? a positive post on my “illness” blog? wonders will never cease! brace yourselves – no moaning will follow!
On Wednesday i received a wheelchair from a hire company. I was expecting a visitor for a couple of nights so got it in time for that (but she has postponed her visit for another time), although i am keeping it for two weeks in total as my Mum is also visiting this Thursday for the weekend, so we can hopefully get out of the house a bit. I am working on a list of possible excursions so we can pick one when the time comes, according to wellness and weather.
On Friday my partner took me on a “walk” in the wheelchair, with the dog around some streets by our house for a test run. I held the dog lead and she pushed me. It worked pretty well, and the wheelchair is light and easy to manoeuvre (It is called Breezy Moonlight, in case you are interested, and is very comfortable). The only problem was that if i had to pull on the dog lead, it did affect the direction of the chair, but this was ok except when she was barking and pulling madly at another dog! I saw streets i have never been down before and we were out half an hour or so and the sun was even almost out… I was not feeling great however, particularly earlier in the day so was amazed…
…by what i managed on Saturday! I booked a shopmobility scooter for midday and got a taxi there, with my partner. I did not think i would be feeling well enough to stay out long but was just desperate for some fun!We went around two or three shops, and i bought some knickers (i have been desperately needing some new knickers for ages but have not been able to get to a shop for months, and although my partner can get some for me, i really wanted to chose my own! So i was very happy with that) and then we went to Fat Face, which i love, and i got some dark grey cords and a stripey zip-up jumper with a hood, and got a free t-shirt 🙂 After all that excitement we had lunch at my favourite place in town, i had a plate of anti-pasti (sundried toms, mozzerella, beans, little mushrooms, grilled courgette and aubergine etc etc) and then a cup of thick hot chocolate that you have to eat with a spoon! Yum. By this time it was 3pm. I was starting to fade but me partner just had a couple of things to get so i decided to stay with her and go home together. We eventually returned the scooter at 4pm and got a taxi home.
I was on such a high that although i lay down a while i did not go to bed properly when i got home, and had a strange high in the evening where i was warbling on about rubbish and singing and was concerned that i may be annoying ( i was assured not, but i am still not sure!). I was so nice to feel so happy and to have been able to do so much after what seems like weeks and weeks of feeling bad almost continuously.
I slept well last night, and went back to bed late morning for my customary extra hour’s nap, but have not yet felt the “pay back”. In fact today has been good as well! I have been out for an hour in the wheelchair in the woods near my house (which i have not been able to set foot in for literally years) and we covered a lot of ground – it has hardly changed since i was last there though, which surprised me. It was nice to smell the woods, which had a hint of autumn about them and toadstools popping up all over.
Then i came back and made two little crumbles! I really miss cooking and feel a real sense of achievement. They also taste great! one is plum, and the other is apple and damson. They were actually very quick and low effort to make. (I don’t have to do my own washing up, so lucky!) I have a little headache brewing despite a quick afternoon nap but am fairly unscathed and just so pleased to have been so active and been out and about so much. My good energy has timed well with the the weather too as it has been dry and even a bit sunny.
So happy days! Just going to rest up as much as possible over the next three days until my Mum visits, and hopefully i can carry on this good trend…