Some good news!
1. I am getting a wheelchair in two or three weeks after being assessed (it was not a gruelling assessment – just a nice woman who had a quick chat and then measured me up!). It is an NHS wheelchair, so it will be on long-term loan to me and they will pay for upkeep/repairs. It will be lightweight and have a headrest and a cushion! I am hoping it will be comfortable.
2. My application for a Blue Badge (disabled parking permit) has also been successful! I think this will be really useful and take the stress out of parking in many situations. It may open up some new options for places to go.
3. The itching has improved. It is still coming and going but is much better and almost as significant is that the night-time (drowsy) anti-histamines i am on seem to be really helping my sleep. The combined effect is that i seem to be sleeping better and my baseline for activity has been raised a little and i feel less manky in general. I have had some really bad days, but in each case it has been one day of payback which i can directly attribute to having done something; rather than just a bad day for no apparent reason. I am liking this new phase very much!
I have left the house a bit more than usual (at least once per week if only for a gentle/brief thing) whereas before i was not going out other than for essential appointments for weeks on end. A big change for me. Things seem a bit more possible and i feel i am recovering faster from doing things. I am still needing to have a sleep in the day, but i am finding it harder to get to sleep until a bit later in the day and am sleeping a little less. Before, I would often get up, have breakfast and check my emails etc. then have no choice but to just crawl back to bed. I feel more alive now. It is not a giant leap, but it is such a welcome break from the drudge of the past year really, which has seemed so retrograde overall, maybe this is the start of a better phase… Early days, it has only been two or three weeks! I know i am getting ahead of myself and am probably overstating the change, but it feels dramatic to me. Fingers crossed this “side effect” of the anti-histamines does not wear off… my mood was really struggling before – the itch was really driving me into depression as it was hard to cope with. I am feeling so relaxed now in comparison and my other pains are better too!
The best things have been going to a local art gallery and seeing the Hokusai print “Wave off Kanagawa” with a friend, and then, a week later, going to Cherryburn with my partner, where Thomas Bewick the local woodcut print-making legend was born. The afternoon at Cherryburn in particular I felt really good and my stamina was good. It was the best I have felt for many, many months. The sun was shining down on us and I felt so lucky to have made it out and to be enjoying a day trip with my partner. It was fun. We even stopped off in a pub for a cuppa on the way home (yes, that is two separate locations in one trip out!).
3. I have some lovely visitors coming to see me over the next few months, some end of May, some Mid-June and then another in August and we are going on holiday with her to a cottage up the coast from here – I am counting the days til my summer holiday! I did not think I would be able to go anywhere this year as I have been finding travel impossible, and also the itching has really limited my ability to sleep anywhere but my own bed (if i am lucky) and i cannot go anywhere without a bath, as showers are also a big no-no. I am still a little concerned about it as my skin is so sensitive to “lumpy” mattresses (and a million other things), and painful even if not always so itchy, but things are much better than they have been and now i think i will survive. We will be close to home anyway if things go wrong, but far away enough to feel like it’s a holiday!
4. I continue to be able to read and have just read The Colour Purple, by Alice Walker. It has sat on my shelves for over a decade and i am so glad i decided to read it at last! So well written, interesting, moving and grounding. I loved it. I have also bought two books in a second-hand shop (it was so great to be able to go in and browse them last week on a quick trip out!). Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov who several people tell me is worth reading but i have not read anything by him before, and The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I don’t know which to start with!
5. Just remembered another good thing! I am doing more drawing. I have been inspired by Michael Nobbs and his “75 ways to draw more”. The results are a bit mixed but at least i am doing something rather than waiting til i feel good enough to do something i think i actually “good”. A few minutes here of there can produce something, and something is better than nothing! I am being brave and posting them onto Flickr, as there is a “75 ways…” group there. I have had some nice comments from people who are evidently much better at drawing than me, which is generous of them!
So in summary, life doesn’t feel so bad at the moment, long may it last.