Well, it’s 2010. Happy New Year to all of you! As most of you have health problems like my own i would like to wish you all a better year in your bodies than last. I am certainly wishing it for myself, as i don’t want to be negative but this last year has been bad on that front. A little improvement would go a long way and just make life a little easier for myself and those around me. I hope we can all see some personal progress and if not, then some medical/research progress would come a close second so we can see some hope of change a-coming…

Here is a candle flame i took a picture of last night, seeing in the new year:

So i woke up this morning to unexpected snow! My partner went out and brought back some beautiful photos:

I desperately wanted to go out and take some myself, but i resisted as i knew it was a bad plan. I took a picture of my redcurrant bush through the window, which looked nice:

There is more snow forecast so i am hoping to take some more another day and maybe leave the house, even if i don’t get far there might be something different to see. It will certainly make things look nicer than usual!

As i contemplate the New Year, my concerns and feelings are much the same as i expect they were last year… how to manage my time and energies to allow me to do things i enjoy and not get bogged down in essential daily activities and medical/health-related appointments (although to actually be able to go to them would be a change on recent form!); what to focus that “excess” energy on for the most benefit to my mental/physical wellbeing; how to express myself creatively; how to spend time with people; how to give my partner a break from my illness and the extra pressure it creates; how to give myself a sense of a break, when i cannot really have one; how to plan for the future when i don’t know whether to assume the best or the worst or something in between…

Most of all i just want to see a bit of improvement, to be able to do a little more, go out a little more, eat more varied foods, be in less pain, feel a little stronger and have some concrete basis for hope that the rest of my life will not be like this, or worse. I would hate to look back on this past year and say that compared to the next it was a good one, but i know it is possible. I am a little scared of that. All i can do is stay strong and as positive as i can and see what happens, i am willing it to be better, i don’t know if that will help but it is all i have got, so that is what i will do. Onwards…

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