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Well, it has been about a month since i went for the big day out to the art gallery etc, and i have been feeling pretty jaded since. I keep waiting to pick up again, but think the big day out (technically speaking – half day!) so soon after the virus (which had not completely gone) was maybe an error, not that i would do it differently if i had the chance again. I have just not regained my previous energy levels. Last week i had to cancel my hair cut and although i made it this week (after resting as much as possible all week) it was a real struggle to be up and functional for the 3.30pm appointment. I really wanted to get out of the house, but was not really well enough. I have felt worse at such occasions but it felt like an endurance test to sit there and listen to the chit chat for an hour. I was so pleased not to be home alone when i got back as i felt pretty dodgy… my IBS has also been flaring up despite my diet being plain and predictable – i suppose just not being so well means it plays up, but that makes me feel worse too.

A friend of mine had invited me to join her in Scarborough this coming weekend. For the last couple of weeks i have been feeling far too ill to go but really trying hard to recoup some energy in the hope that i could miraculously pull myself together in time. Yesterday’s hair cut experience has made me decide not to go. Although it is certainly what i need mentally/emotionally, my body is just not up to it. It is so hard to accept that after having such a successful trip last time. Just sometimes it would be nice to have a fixed condition and be able to say “yes i can do X”  or “No i can’t do X”: to be able to plan ahead and know the score…

Also my nose is running today after a few sneezy days and i am concerned that i am getting another cold! I am doing my nasal washing fastidiously in the hope that no germs will colonise… i don’t think i have recovered from the last one yet 😦

On the up side, being at home this weekend means i may be able to see a friend who i don’t get to see enough, she has invited me over for risotto, so i hope i will be up to it! I will be home alone Thursday – Tuesday, so will be using my energy on essential tasks again, so a fun but relaxed evening with good company will be good to break up the time.

I did get two presents in the post this week, which was really lovely and a big surprise! Sometimes things happen just when you need them and sometimes they don’t – i am grateful for the things that do…

The friend who was going to Scarborough decided not to go this weekend if i am not, so maybe we can rearrange it if i perk up again… finger’s crossed eh?

Quote from Duncan Bannatyne in today’s Observer Magazine:

“I can’t be bothered getting ill – life’s too good”

Yes, Duncan, that’s exactly how it works; and yes you are so much of a better person than me. Wow, if only i had your attitude and lust for life…

Quick update on what i have been up to since my cold…

At the Bank Holiday I felt recovered enough to go into town for a trip out with my partner, as it was her birthday approaching and we wanted to do something to mark the occasion. I felt a bit dodgy in the morning and we did not manage to leave the house until well after two o’clock, but we had a great time! We went to an art gallery (see my post on my energysparks blog about it), then to the new City Library as we had not been inside and everyone was talking about how great it was – and they were right. Then we had a quick drink in a bar and i made the spontaneous suggestion that we should stay in town for a meal (i have not eaten out for many months due to my strange dietary requirements so this was a risky idea not just on energy grounds) so we went for a chinese meal as well! We were out for four and a half hours, and although i did feel quite light-headed in the art gallery and had to frequently sit down, i felt good and even felt ok once we got home, which is almost unprecedented, particularly as i get a bit ill in taxis or with any travel. Of course i have paid for it a bit since (as i was not really over my cold either) and have had a few days of feeling less well, which is why it has taken over a week to blog about it. Still it was worth it and to be able to feel so good and spend such quality time with my partner was a treat in itself.

Since then i have also been a bit creative and made a card – see energysparks again!

ME/CFS Awareness

ME/CFS Awareness


September 2009