Well, i said i would go out of the house somehow to mark my birthday, and i did. We decided Saturday was the best day for a number of factors (weather forecast, likely traffic due to Newcastle v Sunderland football game on Sunday etc), but i woke up feeling very dodgy and my partner’s assessment that i looked “a bit pale”, when i looked in the mirror, was a hilarious understatement. (Good to see those low blood pressure tablets working… NOT!). So, we crossed off the most ambitious option which was to drive to Sunderland to the National Glass Centre (best done in daylight as never been before and it was already late morning) and i got back into bed. I managed a bath in the afternoon and booked a taxi for 4.15pm, as i was determined to do something out of the ordinary. We went to the Laing Art Gallery in town (Newcastle) to quickly (It closes at 5pm!) see Tracey Emin’s Seagulls. I was happy to find them near the entrance and there was a sofa to sit on while looking at them.

I am not really a fan of hers, but i am conceiving an arty project of my own about birds (I feel it may be customary not to talk about things before you even start them, and for good reason, but hey! i like to live on the edge), which have taken on a greater significance for me recently as my illness has been more severe, so i thought in the name of research i would see what a “proper artist” was doing… We did not stay long and really there was nothing more to see than looking at the picture on the website (see link above). What really struck me was that the seagulls, all made from the same cast so pretty much identical, looked more like PIGEONS! To me the beauty of a gull is in it’s crisp edges and it’s angular elegance in the air; these were all rounded and puffy looking… and to have the same words on each one as well? It could have been more interesting to my mind, but what do i know?

So anyway, we then took a short walk to a bar as we had an hour before the restaurant opened. Firstly the only seat we could get were high bar stools which wobbled precariously and were set next to a wobbly table and i felt all “at sea” and not good at all. I do best with a seat with a supportive back, but this was a whole new level of discomfort! Luckily some people moved and we got better seats and the lights were less in my eyes there too.

Then we took another short walk to the bus stop to get a bus down the hill to the quayside. We did not have long to wait and got to the restaurant no problem. The meal was nice. It was Indian food from the Kerala region. We enjoyed the starters more than the main in the end and it was nice and quiet with only one other table occupied when we arrived, although it did fill up by the time we left. We could have got a taxi to come to the restaurant to take us home but i wanted to walk along the river just a little as it is a long time since i was there, and it is nice at night. So we walked a little bit and got a taxi home from the taxi rank.

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When we got home i very quickly deteriorated and had to go and lie in bed for a while, which put a bit of a dampener on things (i walked into the bedroom and looked at the bed which i only left about 4 hours before and it looked like my enemy, which it does not usually) and i was disappointed, although i knew i had pushed my luck quite a lot considering the day started so badly.

I have slept most of today so far and i don’t feel too good now since writing this but i am glad we managed to go out, however much of an effort it can feel. I made my partner take some pictures of me (she refuses to have many taken of her although i did get one) to mark the occasion as otherwise i will probably forget what we did by next year, as my brain is not so good on that front at the moment!

All in all i did have a very good birthday, and what made it good were all the good wishes, cards and great presents people gave me. People have put so much thought into them and that touched me a lot and made me feel valued and special to them. I still have not even found homes for them all – yes i got that many!!! So thanks everyone, if you are reading this xx.

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(Hmm cheesy, green & nice!)

Special thanks to my partner, who always tries so hard to give a sense of occasion even when i am feeling ill, and who made me a gorgeous parsley risotto on Wednesday for my birthday dinner even though she was dubious about the concept, but we both loved it after all!  She got me a digital photo frame, which i love despite never wanting one before i got it and is so nice to have on when i am just sitting quietly, and a love-at-first-sight wool top! Here i am wearing it. Me, aged 32…

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