Today i went to see the POTS Specialist again. She was pleased to hear that i have been feeling better and said it has made her New Year! I said that it had certainly made mine 🙂

They did not do the tests again so i don’t know if my heart is racing a little slower or not these days. She said it was too early to see much of a difference but they would repeat the tests again in a while.

She has doubled my dosage of Midodrine as i was on a very small dose. I now will take 5mg twice a day, morning and lunchtime. She said she hopes i will see twice the improvement! I like her enthusiasm and her positive attitude. She does not make wild promises but at the same time is optimistic and so enthusiastic about helping me.

I took the first “double dose” at lunch time and my hair went all tingly and i felt a bit shivery like goosebumps when i went for a lie down a bit later. This is the only side effect i had when i started taking the tablets 6 weeks ago and it soon passed. It is not unpleasant, quite amusing really as side-effects go!

I asked her if there was anything else i could be doing, such as leg exercises, as i had read that keeping legs toned was helpful and mine are obviously not in great shape after years of illness and limited activity. She said NO, quite strongly. She said it took years to get into this state (!) and that it will take years to get out of it and that I am not to push it or go “running marathons”… er, well that was not what i was thinking but point taken, doc! So gently does it…

I also asked if i will always be on this drug. She said that maybe i would be but that hopefully with taking the medication and increasing my activity the POTS will improve too. She said i will keep going to see her and she may adjust the dosages as we go along as required, then after a year she will assess if we can reduce the dosage or if we need to continue for longer.

This is promising as i was thinking i would maybe be stuck on it forever. The thought of it actually getting better and not needing any medication one day is beyond my wildest dreams, having only just got a diagnosis and treatment 6 weeks ago!

I am really starting to dare to hope that i can eventually return to the levels of health i had about 3 years ago, when i was working 20 hours per week. (This is a world away from where i am now, however, so it won’t happen overnight). I am certain my POTS symptoms began at this time, although they only became serious gradually about 2 years ago. The last year they have been getting noticeably more and more debilitating and have limited every activity and caused so many of my symptoms. It will be so interesting to see which symptoms are persistent once the POTS symptoms are managed/reduced. I am getting ahead of myself though…

I am getting out and about more and coping well. I still have to sit down and can feel the symptoms if i stand still for even a minute but am learning to read when it is ok to continue and when it is not! I was so happy today after seeing the specialist, as instead of getting a taxi home, i walked down the hill to a chinese supermarket that i used to love popping into and have not managed to visit for at least 3 years. I bought a few things and then bought some fruit and veg from a stall by the bus station and got the bus home! I didn’t feel ill on the bus and felt ok standing to pay in the shop as well. It is such as small thing for a healthy person to walk about for half an hour and get the bus but such a novelty to have the freedom to do that rather than get a taxi home and collapse. I saved £7 by getting the bus, so most of my shopping was free! I did still have a well earned nap this afternoon, of course! I had to stop myself buying everything just for the novelty value as i still can’t carry much without getting aches and pains afterwards.

Yesterday i went ten minutes on the bus to some shops nearby and got a few things and had lunch out, and got the bus back home, and tomorrow or sunday i am planning to go to an art gallery in town with my partner. I will use their wheelchair as i want to relax, take my time and be able to see things that don’t have a chair nearby, but to go out so often in quick succession is something i could not have contemplated 2 months ago.

I am still not walking the dog but hope to build up to doing it on days where nothing else is happening, which will be nice, as i have really missed the fresh air and nature fix that i got on good days where i could go for 20 minutes or so. Also the opportunity to take my camera and record anything beautiful i see. I have not missed the way things had become where i was out for 5-10 minutes and felt like death, sat on a bench across the road and worried that i would not make it back to the door and had to lie down for a long time afterwards to recover. Hopefully i won’t have too many of those days again.

All this hope of improvement comes just weeks before my DLA tribunal, although i may well still qualify for something it has thrown me into a quandry about whether to go or not. I do not want to get ahead of myself in my enthusiasm for change and i am not sure what i can and can’t do on a regular basis as it has only been a few weeks and i have had bad days, of course, among the good. I think i am not in line for higher rate mobilty now, as it was always borderline and i feel more able to get about short distances and more predictably, although i have not really tested it on a regular basis and have only been out when i felt at my best time of day. The lower rate care therefore is all that is left and i think this is probably out as well. It is a shame that i almost definately qualified for that until a few weeks ago, so all that back pay is lost as i am improving at the last minute! I don’t really care any more though, i am just pleased not to feel so vulnerable that i cannot look after myself properly. I am sure i will still need help with cooking sometimes and having my hair washed and other bits and bobs, but i am unsure if it is enough for DLA… I just hope i can improve enough to leave all of that behind… I will just talk to my benefits advisor people and see what they say. On the one hand there is no harm in attending the tribunal and letting them make the decision, after all i have been through to get to this point, but on the other hand i just don’t want to go through it if there is no point. I want to look to the future.

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