Well, it has been about a month since i went for the big day out to the art gallery etc, and i have been feeling pretty jaded since. I keep waiting to pick up again, but think the big day out (technically speaking - half day!) so soon after the virus (which had not completely gone) was maybe an error, not that i would do it differently if i had the chance again. I have just not regained my previous energy levels. Last week i had to cancel my hair cut and although i made it this week (after resting as much as possible all week) it was a real struggle to be up and functional for the 3.30pm appointment. I really wanted to get out of the house, but was not really well enough. I have felt worse at such occasions but it felt like an endurance test to sit there and listen to the chit chat for an hour. I was so pleased not to be home alone when i got back as i felt pretty dodgy… my IBS has also been flaring up despite my diet being plain and predictable – i suppose just not being so well means it plays up, but that makes me feel worse too.
A friend of mine had invited me to join her in Scarborough this coming weekend. For the last couple of weeks i have been feeling far too ill to go but really trying hard to recoup some energy in the hope that i could miraculously pull myself together in time. Yesterday’s hair cut experience has made me decide not to go. Although it is certainly what i need mentally/emotionally, my body is just not up to it. It is so hard to accept that after having such a successful trip last time. Just sometimes it would be nice to have a fixed condition and be able to say “yes i can do X” or “No i can’t do X”: to be able to plan ahead and know the score…
Also my nose is running today after a few sneezy days and i am concerned that i am getting another cold! I am doing my nasal washing fastidiously in the hope that no germs will colonise… i don’t think i have recovered from the last one yet 
On the up side, being at home this weekend means i may be able to see a friend who i don’t get to see enough, she has invited me over for risotto, so i hope i will be up to it! I will be home alone Thursday – Tuesday, so will be using my energy on essential tasks again, so a fun but relaxed evening with good company will be good to break up the time.
I did get two presents in the post this week, which was really lovely and a big surprise! Sometimes things happen just when you need them and sometimes they don’t – i am grateful for the things that do…
The friend who was going to Scarborough decided not to go this weekend if i am not, so maybe we can rearrange it if i perk up again… finger’s crossed eh?
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September 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm
cusp
It always seems so cruel that we (as in PWME) have to suffer for our pleasures.
It’s so tricky trying to juggle the energy-demands of essentials v. pleasures or even non-essentials. One of the things that can really gaul me is giving up precious energy for an essential (like a visit to the doctor) which then makes it impossible to go for something pleasurable like a coffee out with a friend or even a little drive out. It always seems to have to be about balance and measuring when sometimes you just want to splurge and say ‘to hell with it.’ I think it was your good self that once said to me that it gets so wearing having to be so bloody zen about everything all the time ;0)
Sometimes you do just have to go for it if something nice presents itself and it seems possible—- like your ‘Big Day Out’ (LOL) when you thought a bug might be on the horizon. As you say you still wouldn’t change anything.
Try and rest as much as possible and then hopefully when your Scarborough chum is set to go there again you’ll be tickety-boo too.
Take care
September 24, 2009 at 3:13 pm
ashysheela
thanks cuspie, certainly not feeling too zen right now! I like that you remembered that though
September 24, 2009 at 2:53 pm
alvason
Hi Ashy
Just logging in to say hi!, it can be such a drag can’t it … and such an effort to force yourself to do what needs to be done, often physically up to it but just not there mentally …
Nothing much going on ehre but thought I would drop in with my best wishes and regards from
Adam
PS Try some more photos when you get inspired and are up to it, I love ‘em!
September 24, 2009 at 3:17 pm
ashysheela
thanks Adam, i needed a compliment and you made me chuckle! I love taking ‘em too! I will certainly get out there again a.s.a.p. Maybe in a couple of weeks my body, the sunshine and the autumn colours will all cooperate – make a wish for me!
September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm
rachelcreative
I’ve got my fingers crossed for you. Well until they get tired
But once I’ve rested them I’ll cross them again.
September 27, 2009 at 8:28 pm
ashysheela
thanks rachel, mental finger crossing is adequate!! Keep your fingers good for brush and pencil holding…
I managed to go over to my friend’s house for risotto last night. It was good to see her. I don’t have a cold yet either – i think i can thank you (and nina!) for that as i think the salty nose rinsing has really fended it off. So things are pretty good (except the washing up… only one more day!).